Flappy Cocks

Flappy Cocks, there, that got your attention. If there’s one guaranteed way to get the attention of the majority of the public, it’s to wave a flappy cock about. Generally speaking, helicoptering your way across the stage at a Royal Variety Performance will draw the gaze of Joe Public. Just ask Steve Gough,  The Naked Rambler, barely a minute after being released from jail and he’s re-arrested for his flapping cock. He has had one conviction overturned, the Judge in question realised that arresting him before he actually offended anyone was validating his argument. If no-one paid any attention to our titular anatomical appendage, Steve Gough wouldn’t bother shaking his all up and down your local high street. Instead the majority of the public are unable to deal with his bits in the breeze and he must be put somewhere his hairy sack and flaccid womb broom can be handled by the authorities in a safe and responsible manner.

How strange. I can’t figure it out, one minute we’re offended by folk being forced to wear too many clothes and the next, handcuffing a pair of bouncing balls and a wobbly willy. The University of Michigan produced a startling report,

No burqa required: Muslim world weighs in on women’s dress

Which made the claim that the majority of the public in Saudi Arabia, Iraq, Pakistan and Egypt thought that women should not be able to choose their own clothing. It’s painful for me to find that out anyone anywhere should be forced to do anything. No-one should force anyone to do anything other than stop hurting themselves or anybody else. Hurting in the physical sense, not as a legal or moral issue.

It’s almost as if, even at the level of civilisation we’ve attained, we still have some unanswered issues.

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